Do Send Your Story to Friends and Family?
There’s an old saying: don’t send your story to friends and family, they’re biased and they’ll automatically like it and not give you an accurate viewpoint of your story. There’s some merit to that statement; I’m not wrong. But I would like to gently push back on this statement. Yes, a friend might be biased. Yes, maybe they do want to like something because their friend wrote it.
But in my experience, a friend can also be your biggest cheerleader. If they read your story, and get it, like truly get it, the world you’ve created, the characters, the storyline, and the heart at the center, and believe in it and champion it and say it’s worth telling, then that is worth something that no editor or publisher can replace.
I absolutely believe that you should send our stories to editors and unrelated beta readers who have no idea who you are. I also believe (if this is the route you take) that you should listen to agents and publishers and take into consideration their expert opinion about what sells. It is important to do all of that!
But to have someone in your corner who believes in the story from the beginning, it may be your friend or a family member who catches that fire. Who wants more than anything to see you succeed and share your story with the world. That is the motivation to keep you going. To keep writing when you have writer's block. To push through the 387th revision that your editor is telling you to make. To make the efforts for the nitty-gritty line edits and other tiny details so it can be the best it can be.
I’d like to give an example from my own life. I gave my story to several people, but my writer friend Nikki was by far the most thorough and most excited response. (But I do want to give a shoutout to my other friends who read and reviewed my story as well - I am so grateful for taking the time to review my work!) She genuinely loved my latest story (the “action thriller” I’m working on), and her encouragement and championing of my story have motivated me to continue to work on it to make it the best it can be. And now, I am returning the favor by reading and reviewing her work (you can see my comments in several Instagram posts), and now, I’ve become my own genuine fan of her work. I am so excited to be one of the first to read “Drew’s story,” and I’m honored that she trusts me to give my honest feedback on her writing.
Some might say we’re biased. Some might say that because we’re friends, we might not be giving each other a clear picture of the work that the story needs to make it great. And maybe there’s some truth to that - and maybe we need an outside editor to give a critical eye to our work. But nobody is a bigger champion, a bigger cheerleader, a bigger advocate of each other’s work than Nikki is of my writing, and I am of Nikki’s writing. And there is absolutely nothing that compares with that feeling.
I’m not saying that you will find that cheerleader among your friends who adores your writing and can’t wait for the world to see it. Maybe mine and Nikki’s is a unique situation, and there is no one out there like that for you. But if you don’t give a loved one in your family or friends a chance, you will never know.
Having a good editor and outside feedback unrelated to you is essential - but having that cheerleader in your life is essential too. So thank you, Nikki, for being my cheerleader, and I am so honored to be your cheerleader as well.